Domestic Issues
by Sodamnbored
Summary: College AU. Sasori doesn't get along very well with his roommate Deidara, but one drunken night might be able to bring them closer together. Warning lemons. (Bad summary but please try it.)


Domestic Issues

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Naruto or any of the characters used.**

Sasori turned into yet another corridor, identical to the hundred others he had already wandered, in search of his new dorm room. It was his first year at college, and it was moving day. He had pictured his arrival and life here since he was accepted. He had it all planned out. Getting lost was not part of his plan.

Safe to say he was not in the best spirits when he at last came to the door of his room. The hallway was loud and crowded with students trying to move in and greet neighbours and he was looking forward to slamming the door on them all.

Faintly he could hear movement inside. Evidently his roommate had already arrived. Knowing he had to get through a year with this person, he took the time to take a breath and tried to seem friendly. Or at the very least, not aggressive.

He entered the room quietly, closing the door behind him. He froze when he saw his supposed roommate. She had her back to him, seemingly unware of his arrival, digging through a duffel bag. She was tall with long blonde hair, some of it tied up.

' _I'm in the right room, aren't I?'_ thought Sasori, already cringing at the potential embarrassment. _'Tell me I didn't come to the girl's dorms. No. No way I got_ that _lost. This is definitely my room._ She's _the one that's lost… What an idiot.'_

The girl had already unpacked a lot of her stuff. Sasori hoped he wouldn't have to help her repack. Hesitantly, he stepped forward, clearing his throat.

"Um, excuse me miss, but are you sure you're in the right room?" he asked as politely as possible.

The girl looked at him over her shoulder with a wtf expression. Sasori almost stepped back at the sight.

"Dude, what?" the blond half laughed, eyeing him up.

The _guy_ pulled a book out of his bag and carried it past Sasori towards a shelf on the wall watching the shorter male all the while.

"Uh, nothing. Never mind," muttered Sasori, feeling awkward.

He grabbed his own bags and pulled them hastily to the other side of the room avoiding eye contact at all costs. He put down his bags and tried to ignore the heat in his cheeks.

' _Idiot. Idiot. IDIOT! Great first impression you complete MORON!'_

He turned to start on the boxes that had been delivered and almost crashed into his roommate who was standing right beside him. Sasori didn't move so when the taller boy leaned in slightly closer, narrowing his eyes slightly, they wound up with only an inch or two left between their faces. Sasori stared back at him, his surprise changing to annoyance, the heat in his cheeks persisting.

"You seriously think I was a girl?" the blond questioned after a moment.

Sasori couldn't tell if the blond was angry or interested or what. He just kept staring at him with his big blue eyes.

"Yeah, guess I did," he admitted.

The blond didn't move, just raised his eyebrows slightly and hummed. "So what's wrong with you? Or are you just stupid?" he quizzed.

And now Sasori knew the blond wasn't angry or interested. He was just a dick. Great.

"No. You just happen to look like a girl," he defended, giving him a quick glare as he stepped around him coolly.

Turning around, the blond stared him down, standing straight, puffing out his chest and clenching his fists.

"In what way?" he demanded.

On his way to the vacant desk Sasori wordlessly flicked some of the long blond locks, smirking to himself at the flushed, irritated look he got in response.

They didn't speak again for a while, keeping to their own sides of the room. Sasori continued to unpack his things carefully, arranging them all neatly. He made a point of ignoring his roommate entirely, and not just because of their little misunderstanding. There was just something about the guy that Sasori didn't much like. And it didn't help that he was jerk.

"Are you seriously not done unpacking yet?" complained said jerk loudly. "How much do you own?"

In fact, Sasori was almost done, but he instead replied with, "it takes time to put things in their place. It's not like you've finished either."

Indeed, the blond's possessions littered much of the floor and desk and bed in no apparent order. Some items, particularly clothes, were still hanging over the rims of boxes. The boy simply glanced around the mess casually.

"I finished ages ago."

For the first time Sasori turned to look at the blond in disbelief. "You're not actually going to leave it like that, are you?"

The blond simply shrugged and half nodded. Sasori couldn't help his nose wrinkling a bit in distain. An untidy jerk. Great.

"Keep it to your side then," he muttered.

Things with his roommate, whose name he later learned was Deidara, did not improve. For most of their first week they were able to get by mostly ignoring each other, save for arguments. On the Saturday of that week however, Deidara came exploding through the door carrying a large parcel and went straight to his bed to start unwrapping it. Sasori merely rolled his eyes at the noise and went back to his book, tutting inwardly as the brown paper wrappings were carelessly thrown to the floor where they would no doubt remain until he picked them up.

From the corner of his eye he watched Deidara practically skip to the middle of the opposite wall and hold something up against it. After a moment of Deidara shifting around he caught sight of what had been in the parcel.

It was a decent sized canvas with god only knows what depicted on it. He continued to stare but it was impossible to discern what the picture was of. He suspected it had been done with paint, but even that was questionable. It was too busy and didn't seem to mean anything. He couldn't understand why Deidara would want to put that rubbish on the wall.

Setting his book aside, Sasori joined his roommate at the wall. "What's that supposed to be?"

"Isn't it great? It just got delivered today," said Deidara, beaming at the canvas.

"You can't put that up there," the redhead said flatly.

Deidara eyed him in annoyance. It was clear to both of them by now that they weren't going to get along.

"Excuse me?"

"You can't put that _thing_ on the wall," the redhead repeated firmly.

"And why not? It's _my_ painting and _my_ wall," retorted Deidara with a scowl.

"Actually it's _our_ wall, and I don't want to look at that rubbish all day. It's offending."

"It's _art_."

Sasori just stared at him in wounded bewilderment for a moment like he had been punched in the face or just watched his puppy get stabbed. "That is _not_ art! It's terrible! You can't even tell what it is."

Looking at it more closely, Sasori saw that the "artist" (or hyperactive child) had simply splashed their paintbrush across the canvas a few times in a few colours. Some of it appeared to have been squished directly from the tube. It was messy and a ridiculous insult to true art.

"It's exactly art," argued Deidara aggressively. "Art is a bang! Like fireworks, they're art."

Sasori half laughed in disbelief, shaking his head. " _Fireworks_ are not art, you cretin. Art is eternal. What are your precious fireworks? Gunpowder and over in a second."

"Well show me some of your _eternal_ stuff then," demanded Deidara with a scowl.

Sasori marched over to his desk, grabbing a box from the floor. He pulled something out and sat it on the chair while Deidara approached. As soon as the blond laid eyes on the puppet he immediately took a step back, eyebrows raised.

"That's creepy," he muttered, with a grimace. "What is _that?"_

The redhead glared at him and barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. _"His_ name is Hiruko."

"How is a _puppet_ art anyway?" asked Deidara, choosing to ignore the fact that the redhead had named that beast.

Sasori let out an exasperated sigh. "Look at him. All the features and details are here like a real person" – Deidara sincerely hoped he'd never meet anyone like Hiruko – "but it'll never change or die. He's _eternal._ It's _art."_

"You're hopeless," sighed Deidara, shaking his head slowly.

"No painting," commanded the redhead.

"Ugh fine," grumbled the blond. "But no painting means no puppet –"

"– _Hiruko_ –"

"– Whatever! If I can't put up my awesome art, you have to keep your creepy ass puppet in the closet. Got it?"

From then it seemed that war had been declared. Each day one of them would find a new way to annoy and hassle the other. Most were insignificant teases like the morning Sasori woke to find his side of the room in chaos, his things strewn across the floor like an explosion had gone off to be told proudly by a certain blond that he now owned some real art. Or the following day when Deidara was shaken awake only to stare into the wooden face of Hiruko. The teasing about his completely manly, only vaguely startled noise – or completely girly scream of terror as Sasori put it – had lasted the redhead a good few days. Occasionally though things would escalate a little too far like the one fight they'd had which had ended with Sasori pulling Deidara's hair.

About a month later things still had not really improved. Deidara, being the average college student he was, obviously had to spend his time away from Sasori complaining about Sasori to his friends. His friends, however, were getting tired of hearing about the blond's domestic issues.

"Okay, seriously dude, can we not get through even _one_ lunch break without hearing you bitch about your boyfriend?" groaned Kisame, with a monumental eye roll.

Deidara scowled at him and threw a dumpling at him in response. Kisame just laughed and ate the dumpling with a grin.

"Yeah, no one wants to hear about who's cock you sucked last night," added Hidan. If there was one thing worse than Kisame, it was Kisame and Hidan together.

"You're terrible friends. Why don't you actually help me with my problems?" complained the blond.

"Oh sorry," replied Hidan, as sarcastically as possible, "just let me mount my marvellous fucking white horse and slay the fiend for you, your highness."

"Uh no one wants to hear about you mounting anything thanks. We're trying to eat you know," bit back Deidara.

"Well really, what am I supposed to do? Ask him nicely to stop hurting your sensitive little feelings?" asked Kisame sarcastically.

"Why don't you try not fighting with him?" supplied Itachi, level headed and analytical as always. "If you stop bothering him, perhaps he won't feel the need to antagonise you so?"

Deidara grimaced. "You mean be nice to him? Be _friendly?_ Sounds positively awful. Besides, _he_ was the one that started it. I'm just defending myself, seeing as I can't rely on my so-called-friends to do it for me." He glared pointedly at Kiasme and Hidan.

"I'm serious. It doesn't matter who started it. You have to spend at least the rest of the year with him, and if he bothers you this much, try a little appeasement. Find something in common, spend some time with him. Why don't you invite him to Tobi's party?" continued the raven.

He'd met Tobi in one of his classes and thought he was a bit annoying generally, but expected his party to be good, he could get a bit crazy sometimes.

Before the blond could argue, Kisame jumped in. "Hey, that's a great idea! A party is like the ultimate bonding experience! Well, aside from maybe camping. You should take him camping next time, but start with the party. It's about time you asked him out."

"I am _not_ going to ask him out, idiot. And I'm not inviting him to Tobi's either," pouted the blond.

"So don't ask him out. Just drag him to the party so you can get drunk and fuck," barked Hidan, with a casual shrug.

"Give us a good reason and we won't make you," challenged Itachi, ignoring Hidan completely.

"Ummm," thought the blond audibly. "Well I can't just go inviting people to someone else's party, can I? It's rude. _And_ irresponsible. That's how college parties get out of hand you know. We don't want to look like hooligans after all."

Nearly everything he said was a complete lie and all three of them knew it. Tobi's parties were open-invite and people nobody knew came and went all night. His parties were more or less designed to get out of hand and half the point of going to one was to act like "hooligans".

"Oh come on. We all know Tobi is like your number one fan _Deidara-Senpai,"_ grinned Kisame. "He'd let you away with anything. He won't care if you bring one other person. Tobi likes people anyway."

"So it's decided. You'll bring Sasori with you and try to be nice to him," said Itachi, with an all too pleasant smile. "And if you turn up without him, you won't make it home again."

Deidara gulped. As quiet as Itachi could be, he was pretty scary sometimes. He was not someone you'd want to get on the wrong side of.

"Fine," conceded the blond, with a pout. "But when it doesn't work I expect you to defend my honour and kick his ass at least."

Later that night, Sasori was scribbling in a book with his headphones on while Deidara was buttoning up the tenth shirt he'd tried on so far, while fixing his hair in front of the mirror. He checked the clock knowing he still had plenty of time to get to Tobi's party.

He glanced over at Sasori who was on his stomach on his bed facing away. He watched the redhead for another minute, thinking. Eventually, he sighed and went over.

"Hey," he said casually. Sasori barely glanced at him. "So I'm gonna go soon, you know for Tobi's thing? I was thinking you could maybe, um…come if you wanted?"

He cringed immediately at how awkward he sounded. The redhead looked up at him blankly before saying "what?"

The blond rolled his eyes before yanking the headphones off his roommate's head in annoyance.

"Are you deaf? I said do you want to go to Tobi's with me?" he snapped.

"I heard. There wasn't any music playing. They're not even plugged in, idiot." He held up the end of the wire in front of the wide blue eyes. "I was just using them to ignore you."

Deidara wanted to walk out right now and only the fear of Itachi made him instead say a little shortly "well then are you coming or not?"

"What? You were serious?" asked the redhead in surprise.

"Sure. You never go anywhere. You could use a social life," shrugged the blond.

Sasori hummed, unconvinced. Deidara wrapped his arms around the smaller teen's torso and started trying to pull him off the bed.

"Come on," he grinned, "at least for one night. Get dressed."

He wasn't really in a party mood and had been looking forward to a Deidara-free night but it didn't seem like he was going to be given the choice, so Sasori grudgingly changed into the shirt Deidara had picked out for him.

He didn't want to go. He was only going because Deidara was making him. It was going to be a long night of standing in the corner and hoping no one would try to talk to him. Why was Deidara even taking him along anyway? He heard the blond's voice in his head again: _'Do you want to go to Tobi's with me?'_ He mentally scoffed. What? He couldn't find a date? He noticed Deidara looking at him and looked away quickly with the slightest pout.

Deidara didn't really know what the point of inviting the red head was if he just planned on sulking in a corner the whole night. But he really did need to get out more. Maybe he'd make some friends and wouldn't always have to be in the dorm. A Sasori-free night might be nice. Plus, if he gave him any more trouble, a college party would be the ideal place to get revenge. He already had the home advantage.

"Ok let's go," announced Deidara.

Sasori opened the door, letting the blond go first. As he made a move towards the open door, Sasori tipped his head slightly and said "m'lady." Deidara wanted to punch him. But like the gentleman he was, he restrained himself. It was going to be a long night. _Damn you Itachi._

Hours later, the door opened again and the two stumbled in, Deidara supporting and half dragging a very drunk Sasori. At some point Deidara had lost track of Sasori, leaving him with a drink and telling him to have a good time, so he didn't know if Sasori just couldn't handle his liquor, was actually capable of having fun (yeah right), or more likely, someone had spiked him. Quite a few times by the looks of it.

He had briefly considered letting his dear roommate continue to embarrass himself – he even thought about making an obstacle course for him – but decided to take pity on the poor drunken fool and take him home. It was a pain trying to drag his ass across campus, but he had to admit, Sasori was a lot more fun drunk.

They managed to make it over to Sasori's bed and the redhead collapsed onto it rather ungracefully.

"Ok, there you go," said Deidara, not sure if his roommate was even listening, while he pulled off the other boy's shoes for him.

He dropped the shoes on the floor and was about to turn away when he felt a hand on his wrist. He looked down at the smaller teen in question. The lights were off but he was used to it now and the sky was already beginning to get lighter with the first hints of morning light.

"What?" prompted the blond when Sasori said nothing.

The brown eyes narrowed slightly and he hummed as though he was only now trying to think of a reason.

"Um…'m not ready f'bed yet," he slurred.

"Well what do you want me to do about it? It's not like I'm gonna tuck you in," replied the blond with a small laugh.

Sasori tugged on his arm and with surprising strength pulled him down onto the mattress. Before he knew what happened he was lying on the mattress with Sasori's arm wrapped tightly around him. He could feel the smaller teen pressed up against his back and warm breath on his neck.

"Stay with meee~" he whined adorably.

For a few moments neither moved or spoke. He felt the red head nuzzle his neck slightly as he cuddled him. Deidara raised an eyebrow with an embarrassed smirk.

' _Heh, friendly drunk.'_

A hand slowly slipped down his chest to blindly grope around his jeans. The blue eyes widened and he tried to fight back the surprised blush.

' _Wow._ Really _friendly.'_

Unsure of how best to handle the situation, the blond froze up until he felt a suspicious hardness pressing against his lower back. At that he shot up, throwing the arm off of him.

"Dude are you – _oh_ ," he faltered as he saw that redhead's own jeans were indeed tight and he was obviously hand.

Sasori stared back up at him with half lidded eyes and, possibly without realising, licked his lips slowly which made Deidara's mouth drop open. The blond was still sitting at the foot of the bed, the commotion having flipped Sasori fully onto his back, his knees bent slightly. When the blond continued to stare, the smaller teen opened his legs in obvious invitation.

Deidara's brain almost exploded right then and there, and he almost laughed with the realisation: _'Holy shit. Sasori's a slutty drunk.'_

Feeling impatient, Sasori started nudging the taller teen's knee with his foot and moaned his impatience. He held out his hands, making grabby movements like a little kid.

Partly out of fascination at this new and thoroughly unexpected side of Sasori, Deidara crawled closer hesitantly until he was between the red head's thighs and leaning over his face.

"Hey, you know do who I am right?" he grinned, wondering what the answer would be. But if the answer was ' _I thought you were a girl'_ he swore to God he was going to punch him in the face, drunk or not.

"Obviously," mumbled Sasori with an eye roll. He sloppily wrapped his arms around the blond and tried to pull him closer. "You're Deidara; my hot roommate with the pretty blue eyes and girly hair."

Those pretty blue eyes barely had time to widen before their lips slammed together in a pretty sloppy but surprisingly good kiss. He felt the smaller teen's legs hook around his own, dragging him closer.

When they separated Sasori put a hand on his cheek and giggled.

"You're blushing."

This only made the blush worse of course. Sasori seemed to be in his own little world as his hand stroked down the blond's chest again, this time undoing his shirt as he went. He hummed happily to himself as his hand kept exploring and stroking across the newly exposed skin and muscles.

"So you're gay huh?" Deidara said with an awkward smile. His brain seemed to have abandoned him, leaving him to fend for himself.

Sasori shrugged, distracted. "Dunno. Let's find out."

Deidara gulped but didn't retreat. Ok so it was probably crappy of him to take advantage of someone so drunk, but Sasori knew who he was and still seemed pretty up for it. And he had been drinking too, so it wasn't all his fault. If Sasori wasn't thinking, why should he have to?

They kissed again for a while, at some point Sasori's shirt opened and Deidara's came off completely. Their bodies moved together as they explored each other's mouths.

When they next separated and the trail of saliva had thinned and broken, Deidara moved down and sucked on Sasori's neck. The smaller teen moaned and rolled his hips up against the blond, making him bite down harder. The redhead clawed into his back, writhing under him.

Deidara allowed them to grind against each other for a few minutes before moving further down, cutting off the redhead's protesting whines when he started teasing his nipples with his mouth and hands. Sasori arched his back and moaned shamelessly as Deidara slipped a hand down, still working with his mouth, to grope at his crotch.

Continuing down, the blond licked down the smaller teen's abdominal muscles to the waistline of his jeans. He hastily and clumsily undid them and pulled the jeans and boxers down, freeing the redhead's member.

Deidara towered over it, glancing up at the intoxicated teen.

"You're sure about this? Like _sure_ sure?" the blond checked.

"Yes. Get on with it."

Rolling his eyes with a chuckle, Deidara took the member in hand and began stroking it rhythmically. Sasori released a long string of moans as he occasionally thrusted up into the taller boy's hand.

The blond continued for a while, watching the redhead in fascination. The smaller boy had his eyes tightly closed, his mouth open – all the dirty sounds and slurred profanities going straight to Deidara's own needy arousal – and his cheeks were flushed. There was a light sheen of sweat coating his forehead and chest. He watched intently as the muscles in Sasori's chest and stomach contorted and tightened. He was struggling to resist the urge to either touch himself or make Sasori do some work. But he supposed he could wait until Sasori was taken care of, then he could just enjoy his turn.

The brown eyes opened to look up at him, half lidded.

"Try – _uhnn!_ T-try with your mouth," he commanded through pants.

"So bossy," the blond teased lowly, obediently leaning his head down with a smirk.

He teasingly licked around the head and flicked the slit with the tip of his tongue. Sasori's hips shot off the bed immediately much to Deidara's amusement. He allowed a long lick with the flat of his tongue up from the base to the tip, getting a strangled groan from the redhead.

"D-Deidara," whined the smaller teen impatiently.

The blond pressed his lips to the head and smirked in response. When another adorable whine came, he took the redhead completely into his mouth. When Sasori again tried to thrust further, the taller boy held him down by the hips with an irritated grunt which seemed to satisfy the redhead.

He bobbed his head quickly, working diligently with his tongue on the way down and sucking hard on the way back up. He felt a hand tangling in his hair, grabbing up handfuls, tugging lightly.

As he continued to suck harder, the hand in his hair tightened to a death grip and almost ripped some out. The blond jerked his head up, releasing the redhead's arousal with a pop.

"Watch it! You're actually gonna pull my hair out," he frowned at the dazed teen.

Sasori scoffed. "So? You'd still have loads left."

Deidara rolled his eyes before continuing where he left off. Sasori seemed unable to stay still or quiet now and got progressively louder until Deidara was sure there'd be an angry neighbour pounding on the door any minute. The hand in his hair was tighter again and he was positive that by the end he'd have a bald patch.

Both boys knew Sasori would not hold out much longer and Deidara worked faster and harder until at last the smaller teen threw his head back and cried out. Deidara felt the warm liquid fill his mouth and swallowed it around Sasori's softening member. He cringed slightly at the bitter taste as he pulled off the now flaccid Sasori.

Sasori sighed in contentment and his eyelids dropped in the afterglow. Deidara watched him quietly with a smirk until he realised the other boy had fallen asleep.

"Wait – what? Get up you lazy ass, you owe me!" he yelled, trying to shake him awake.

The blond sat back with a frustrated sigh and pouted in disappointment. _'How dare he fall asleep before I even got to unzip my damn jeans. So unfair.'_

Accepting that he'd just have to take care of himself this time, the blond eased off the bed, now trying not to wake the smaller teen – having said that, however, it's not like he'd be too sad if Sasori happened to wake up and finish what he'd started. He was even nice enough to pull the sheets up to cover the sleeping boy.

Before going to his own bed the blond looked down at the other teen and jabbed a finger at his crotch. "I'll take care of it tonight, but you owe me tomorrow."

The next morning was not good for Sasori. His head felt like it was being hit repeatedly with a sledgehammer. The light burned his eyes and made his head throb more. It was a given that he would not be leaving the room, or even his bed, at all that day. Or ever again if he got his way. Accepting his fate, the redhead burrowed further into the blankets.

"Morning," laughed Deidara, leaning loser to the groaning cocoon of sheets. "Rough night?"

"Ugh, go away," came the grumbled reply.

"What?" said the blond in mock hurt. "You mean you don't wanna look into my _'pretty blue eyes'?_ "

The shifting of the bedclothes stopped immediately, as did the groaning. The taller boy wasn't even sure he heard breathing.

He laughed as the smaller teen flopped down on his stomach with the loudest groan yet, part of his face becoming visible.

"Aw what's wrong? Did we just remember something?" teased Deidara.

" _No_ ," Sasori mumbled petulantly.

"No? Not even how you _threw_ yourself at me last night after drinking the entire bar?"

"Shuddup. You took advantage of me." Deidara could swear he pouted.

"I just gave you what you wanted," he grinned with a smirk. "I was flattered by all that stuff you said by the way."

Sasori turned his head to bury his face in the pillow with a weak groan. The blond thought he heard a mumbled 'go away' and chuckled.

"So all that stuff before, every time you argued or fought me, that was your way of liking me, huh?" he continued with an amused smile. "Like a little kid pulling his crush's hair? You like me?"

Sasori, keeping his face in his pillow, reached up with one hand and latched onto the blond hair, tugging lightly. After a brief moment of surprise, Deidara smiled and stood to leave. He paused at the door.

"For the record…I like you back."

 **A/N: I hope that was alright and I know they're kind OOC sorry. Thanks for reading I love you for that, and I love you even more if you take the time to review as well! :)**


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